yest:
had a nice day. watched be wif u n cried like shit. it's realli a nice show.




today:
mood totally changed. received calls saying hew passed away. freak out. but went to sch for lect. saw ve ppl n jessica. had lect. gt a pleasant by moses. he said he n her are together. wow. stay in sch for lunch. discuss some points for marketin. kiwi they all left first. pang seh! hahs. den lao gong n her xiao lao po need go. so went home. bathed n went to sunplaza. i gt her a pink rose. den met jes at khatib n ky at bishan.


cried at the sight of her mom. she's juz so strong. i hope i can be like her. sat aside. didnt tok much. waited for gw. after he come den we offered our prayers. went in to see her. gave her the rose. i was controllin but i failed terribly. i cried like hell. esp when jes say she saw her drop a tear. hopefully she likes the rose.


she've gt lotsa of frens who came for her. n i wonder. would it be the same for mi too? i doubt so. i think i'll juz have a pathetic wake with no one even bother to come. n mayb no one would even noe tat i'm gone until a couple of years later.


i hate the sight of her juz now. i wanna remember her as the always happy gal tat i've known. i met her juz like a couple of weeks ago. she was fine. they say it's a car accident. but ya, it cant be. but wad happened to make u attempt suicide? sch or wad? if it's sch, take it easy mah. u can always ask for help. u're a very strong gal. even ur mom says so. so how could u be so cruel to leave us behind?!?! we, as ur frens, do care bout u lor. so how could u??


hew's mom was damn upset. i noe she's tryin to put up a strong front. it hit mi hard. wad she said. she feels lousy not able to make the wake bigger to at least accomodate all that have come. she asked mi not to realli get affected by the results. guess maybe she attempted it coz of her studies. i dunno. like wad tommy n wanling say, since she thinks tat she feels happier by choosing this path, we cant really do much. should juz feel happy for her ba.


i'll try to smile. i hope i can. but i cant promise anything. but one thing i can promise is tat i wun forget u. i'll oways remember the fun times we have together. 'cept for tat part tat i cared too much bout how ppl viewed me. i was too easily affected n influenced by wad others say then. yea, i suck. i've no right to care bout others now. i'm too self centered. to onli think bout myself n not others. to be exact, her. i did it wrong once so i'm trying not to do it wrong twice.


live like everyday's ur last day.


* i lost my bracelet. damn depressed. i miss him. i need him.